Off to college

August of 97 I was heading off to college.  I chose a small christian college about 3-3 1/2 hrs from my house.  I would only be coming home on holidays because i didn't have my own car.  I was ready to begin the next phase of my life.  My only concern was ... how would I be able to continue my secret?  The dorm had a communal bathroom so obviously throwing up in there was something I wouldn't be able to do.  I ended up stopping the purging cold turkey.  I ate the cafeteria foods and didn't feel the need to purge.  I was realizing that my purging wasn't necessarily about the weightloss I was seeing, but more about me.  I always wanted to please my parents and always made my decisions in life based upon pleasing them.  I never said no to food that was offered because I didn't want to hurt them.  I was raised with the Italian theory of eating.  Eat Eat Eat.  I had to follow that. 

In college, I could make my own decisions.  I was me.  I was becoming an adult.  I chose mostly healthy foods.  Did a lot of walking both on and off campus.  I only had a few friends who had cars so that is what I had to do.  And you know what?  When I went back home the first time and weighed myself, I didn't gain weight.  I was holding steady.  I never got the freshman 15.  I didn't gain weight the whole time in college until I was in my senior year and did a study abroad.  I tasted too many yummy foreign foods.  I had this weight thing mostly under control, except for when I was home visiting.  That was the only time I would ever purge.